Jessica James sat back down at her desk in Guild Headquarters and steepled her fingers. The last battle with the undead forces of the Hole-In-The-Neck gang had left her shaken (and sick with rabies, but a visit to the Witchling Stalkers had cleared that right up.) The undead cowboys were becoming more brazen with every attack. There was a real chance that they could start claiming areas of the city. If only she could find out who their red-headed leader was…
“Well, whoever he was,” she said to herself. “I gave him quite a beating last time.”
Dr. McMourning shuffled into the office on his way to the morgue. “My word, doctor!” gasped Jessica. “What happened to you?”
McMourning stared at her sullenly through his blackened eyes. His face was speckled with bruises, and a long cut on his cheek looked as if he had stitched it up himself. “Och,” he muttered. “I jus’ had a wee bit o’ an accident at a caber tossin’ festival. Took a rogue caber right on me noggin. “I’ll be headin’ home early today.” He painfully shuffled his way out the door.
“I don’t remember any caber tossing festivals,” thought Jessica to herself. “Why is he making up lies to go home early? He always seemed so hard-working. Sometimes, I swear he never leaves that morgue! Ah well, I suppose I should get back to my filing. It looks like Seamus has struck again…”
On the other side of town, the undead cowboy Bloated Bill finished wrapping up the last bundle of dynamite. “We’re gonna get that Justice gal, this time, fer sure!” he told his rotten buddy, the Necropsy Kid.
50 Soulstone Battle:
The Evil Ressurectionists:
Three Guild Autopsies
McMourning with Maniacal Laughter and Moonlighting
The Heroic Guild:
The Scales of Justice
Two Death Marshals
Lady Justice with the Crutch of Office, or whatever it is called
Resser Schemes: Spring the Trap, Outflank
Guild Schemes: Line in the Sand, Spring the Trap
Turn One opened with the Canine Remains digging up a corpse so that a Guild Autopsy could reanimate it as a Mindless Zombie. El Nino sighted his gun in on Sebastian and did four wounds. One of the Nurses injected Sebastian, healing and paralyzing him. Rafkin moved forward, and the Nurse behind him charged him, stabbing him twice with her needle and pumping him full of poison. The Judge fired at the Flesh Construct, inflicting two wounds on him.
On Turn Two, the Austringers, Death Marshals and the Judge all focused their firepower on the Flesh Construct, eventually blowing the monster to pieces after much card-flipping. Nino fired and killed an Autopsy. Lady J advanced to the center of the board, and McMourning took advantage of this to move around her and place a scheme marker. He maniacally laughed, and created another Mindless Zombie. At the end of the turn, the Ressers revealed “Spring the Trap” and gained two Victory Points. Each side also collected one VP for Recon.
On Turn Three, The Judge attacked McMourning, inflicting two wounds. El Nino fired and killed a Nurse. An Austringer shot Rafkin for a total of four wounds. The Canine Remains dug up another corpse marker. Lady J charged at McMourning, doing three wounds, three wounds, and then drawing a Black Joker for her final round of damage. McMourning ignored her and sliced up the Judge, doing five wounds worth of damage and healing himself five wounds at the same time. He maniacally laughed, bringing two more Zombies onto the board. The Guild revealed Spring the Trap and gained 2 Victory points and both sides got another point for Recon.
McMourning acted first on Turn Four. He cast Rancid Transplant onto Lady J. Due to all of the Zombies around her, she gained eight poison counters. He then turned towards the Judge, cast the same spell, and gave the man five poison counters. He slashed at the Judge, inflicting two wounds and bringing him down to a single wound, then finished him off with Expunge. Another Flesh Construct rose from the body of the Judge and shambled off towards the Scales of Justice. A helpful Witchling Stalker removed all of the poison from Lady J, who started running down the center line and placing scheme markers. Nino shot Sebastian for four wounds, while an Austringer shot Rafkin for seven. One Death Marshal fired at an Autopsy, only to be killed by returning fire, only to drop a scheme marker on the center line anyhow. The always-useful Canine Remains ran forward and ate one of Lady J’s scheme markers. The Ressers gained a VP for Recon but the Guild was out of position and did not.
Turn 5 saw the amusing spectacle of the Flesh Construct, who had so recently been the Judge, pick up the Scales of Justice and swallow them whole. Less amusingly, one of the Austringers shot Rafkin and killed him, then wounded Sebastian. Sebastian ran towards the edge of the board and took up a defensive stance, trying to survive to the end of the turn to claim Outflank, but El Nino shot him down. The Ressers gained one VP for Outflank, as an Autopsy held the other side of the board, while the Guild gained 3 VP for Line in the Sand and neither gained any VP for Recon.
Guild Victory, 7 VP to 6!
I played my crew much better this time. One of the things I improved was making sure that I moved the weaker elements of my crew first, and activated McMourning last, except for the turn in which it was necessary for me to kill the Judge. Although McMourning is good in close combat, it is best for him to be slicing and dicing after he has taken some wounds so that he can heal himself while hurting others. Also, his Maniacal Laugh upgrade works much better when there is a pile of bodies around him from people dying during the turn. Expunge is also better if people have accumulated poison damage during the turn from Autopsies or Flesh Constructs damaging them.
This was the first game where I got to use the Maniacal Laugh and the Mindless Zombies, and while it is amusing to see them shambling around the board, being activations, and generally getting in the way, they didn’t really accomplish anything. They are both Slow and Insignificant, with weak attacks and defense. On the upside, the Moonlighting upgrade states that if they die from poison within 8” of McMourning, they turn into Canine Remains, which ARE, useful models, so I may wish to drop the Graveyard Spirit and get the Zombie Chihuahua back just so he can fill them up with poison. I can also shove them around with McMourning’s (0) Injection, which moves them, forces them to place a scheme marker, and then poisons them, which kind of solves all of their problems at once .
I’m having a lot of trouble getting any kind of value out of Sebastian or Rafkin. Both of them are melee fighters, but neither seems strong enough to survive long enough to get into melee or to survive long once they get there.
The performance of the Nurses is so-so. I’m not sure that healing my models while paralyzing them is a worthwhile trade-off, while I am often afraid to cast their spells at the enemy, lest I end up boosting them by accident.
On the side of the Guild, Lady Justice continues to be unstoppable in melee and destroys my Zombies utterly when she kills them. Nino scored three kills and innumerable wounds with his gun, so I just have to stay out of his way. Not sure what to do about Austringers when they can just kill me from inside of a locked basement. The Judge did not disappoint, as he got killed, as he usually does. Having my construct swallow the Scales of Justice was definitely the high point of my game.
So, until next time, the Hole-In-The-Neck gang will plot their vengeance against the Guild…
Thanks for reading!